In a world that has been dominated by electronic
communication, and technology it is easy to understand that we have lost human
interaction and left behind the gestures that make people feel incredibly
loved. Little things such as a kiss on the forehead, and two strangers
exchanging smiles. Some of these things can seem casual.
If you don’t know what type of gestures to give your
friends to make them feel incredibly loved. These may help you.
Handwritten
letters
One thing that makes me
feel incredibly loved is when someone takes time to write a letter or make a card
for me, especially when I am having a bad day. It shows that you care about
making someone happy.
Buying
for them their favourite food or snack
Buying for me my
favourite food or snack will make me feel loved and special. When your friends
tell you that they feel a little down do not forget to bring them food that you
know will cheer him or her up.
Remembering
the details.
Research shows that in a
day, a person listens to more than 20,000 words and they can only remember 17
to 25 percent. If a person remembers something specific about you then they
really care
Say
“I love you.”
Expressing your feelings
towards someone is also a way to let them know that you love them.
Cooking
for someone
Cooking a person’s
favourite meal makes them feel happy and loved. Even when a friend invites me
for dinner I feel loved.
Calling
to check up on someone
Most people today
communicate through social media. Picking a phone and calling your friend makes
them feel special since this is a sign that you are thinking about them. The
conversation does not have to be long but it definitely means a lot to them.
It is true what people
say small things go a long way. What small gestures make you feel loved?
Divorce is a decision that is made after months of trying to make things work. Divorce is very complicated. It can take a bit of your emotional energy and effort to complete. For some people, the fear of the process is what holds them back from filling a divorce. With the right education and preparation, the process can be easy to confront. Every divorce is unique and it comes with its own questions and concerns.
Here are four topics you need to cover with your Lawyer:
· Division of property
Marital property refers to the property that the couple acquired during marriage. It includes cars, jewelry, houses and furniture. The person who will own the property depends on whether you live in a common-law property state or community property state.
In the community property state, property that has been acquired during marriage is divided between both spouses regardless of the name that appears on the title deed. Examples of these states include California, Texas, Washington, and Arizona. In the common law property state, the property is given to the spouse who purchased it under his or her name. If both names appear on the title deed, this means that each couple owns a half interest.
Before you meet with the attorney it is essential to provide a list of all the marital properties, when it was acquired, and whose name appears on the title deed.
· Spousal support
It is not uncommon for one partner to earn more than the other. The imbalance of income is considered when getting a divorce. Spousal support helps to better balance the couple’s income. This type of support is ordered especially when one partner has different income level. It enables both spouses to maintain the standard of living that they enjoyed during marriage.
In the past different factors were considered to determine whether to award spousal support. They include the level of education of your partner, the duration of your marriage and the partner’s health. The law has changed and the only consideration is the income of the spouse.
· Child custody
Child custody is one of the most challenging issues when getting a divorce. Depending on the state either physical or legal custody can be awarded depending on the interest. Legal custody is the ability to make critical decisions about the child’s health, education and welfare. Legal custody can be joint meaning both parents can be involved in making such decisions or it can be sole whereby only one parent can make the decision. Physical custody refers to where the child will reside. It can be joint or sole. Joint custody is where both parents spend equal time with the child while sole custody is where one parent lives with the child.
Before the court can decide on child custody they consider the mental and physical health of the parents, the home environment, and the relationship between the child and the parent. Moreover, the court also examines the level of cooperation and communication between the parents. The number of children, the age of the children and where the children want to live is also considered. Custody arrangements can change as the child grows.
· Child Support
When parents get a divorce they are required to provide financial support for their children. Child support is an obligation for both parents. How much each partner is supposed to contribute is either determined by the court or established between the spouse in a written agreement.
Depending on the state there are specific guidelines to calculate child support. Parents incur fixed, controlled and variable cost in the care of their children. Fixed cost include housing related expenses. Variable cost is incurred when the child is with the parent. For example, food and transportation cost. Controlled cost when the child is in custody of the primary caregiver. Such cost includes clothing, entertainment and miscellaneous expenses.
Conclusion
When you and the lawyer meet it is important to bring all the documentation including the title deed, post nuptial and pre-nuptial agreement, will, trust, financial statements and bank statements, mortgage statement, tax returns and credit card statement. Ensure that you are open to your attorney.
In the past decade single parenting has become more common as compare to nuclear families. Single parent families can be headed by fathers, mother and grandparents. Life as a single parent can be quite stressful for both the children and the adult. Single parents are likely to feel overwhelmed since they have to juggle going to work, paying bills, doing the house chores and taking care of the children.
Some
of the issues that single parents face includes:
Custody
problems.
If you are a single parent it is
important to understand your custody rights. Most of the people associate
custody rights with couples who are married. Custody is also a vital topic
facing unmarried parents. The law automatically gives custody rights to the
mother. Mothers can lose custody rights when the child is mature enough to decide
where he or she wants to stay. Child custody is a very sensitive topic that can
lead to conflict between family member and parents.
Some
of the challenges that single parents go through include:
Less
opportunity for parents and children to spend time with one another.
Most of the single parents are bread winners therefore
they have to go to work. Due to their busy schedule they have no other option
but to take their children to day care.
Effect
of the break up on children school performance.
Single parenting can happen due to a number of reason
death of your partner or divorce. Divorce affects children mentally which may
result into lower grades. They are also likely to be held a grade back. It
becomes hard to know what the child thinks about change in family.
Problems
of parents dating other people
As a single parent one of the greatest problem is
being in a new relationship. Some of the fears that single parents have is
whether the child and your partner will get along.
Conclusion
What do you think are
other challenges single parents go through?
It is easy to recognize
physical abuse since the bruises or injuries are not visible. Emotional abuse
cannot be easily detected by friends and family members. It is common for
someone who is being abused to believe that it is their fault and somehow he or
she deserves it. Many will dismiss emotional abuse thinking that it is not as
bad as physical abuse. This form of abuse affects a person’s self-esteem,
dignity and independence.
At first, the
relationship will seem perfect and romantic. Your partner will even go out of
their way to show their affection and devotion for you. The romantic gift and
gestures can be a way of distracting you from what is coming. The relationship
moves fast from being strangers to talking and calling every day. They may even
visit you when you do not expect.
Possessive
At the beginning of the
relationship, they will be protective and a little jealous of the idea of you
with someone else. Later the protectiveness and jealousy may turn into possession.
They may begin to be paranoid and start demanding that you are accessible
always. Every time that they call you, they expect you to answer immediately.
They always question your whereabouts, who are you with and what are you doing.
They rationalize their behavior by claiming that they are concerned about your
safety.
Irrational Jealous
Your partner’s jealousy
gets worse and they begin to suspect that you are disloyal. With the efforts to
prove your devotion to them, you spend more time with them and less time with
your family members and friends. You also cut-off friends who could be
considered as romantically interested. They blame this on their past
relationship and difficult upbringing while in reality they hide their
jealousy.
Shifting the blame
This occurs when you have
a disagreement with your partner and they make you feel that it is your fault.
They use you or the people around them to vent their anger. Eventually you will
begin to think that every problem in your relationship is your fault. You start
thinking that if you tried not to upset him or her things would go back to what
they were when the relationship started.
Put-downs
Your partner may put you
down privately or publicly by attacking your capabilities, intelligence and
mental health. They constantly compare you with others. You try to confront him
or her, they question your account of the incidence or they tell you that you
are overreacting.
Threats
In order to keep you in
the relationship, they make threats to blackmail you. They may even warn you
about injuring those you love. They use every manipulative technique that they
have in order to prevent you from leaving. You may decide to stay with them because
you believe that you can save them or get them to change their ways. You keep
reminding yourself of the wonderful beginnings so you do not give up but you
cling to the idea that things will get better.
Conclusion
If you recognize these
behaviors in your partner you should know that they are not normal. These
behaviors are associated with emotional abuse. Just because he or she is not
physically harming you does not mean that the abuse is not affecting your
mental health. It is not unusual to feel afraid of leaving the person who is
abusing you. You may feel unsafe and scared of what your partner may do to you
or themselves. You can also feel that you are not capable of making it on your
own. It is essential to remember that they are people or friends who can help
you along the way.
The decision to end marriage is not one that people take lightly. Most of the time filling a divorce come after months of trying to make things work. It can be difficult to know whether you are making the right decision. Therefore, it is important to ask yourself some questions before getting a divorce.
First of all, it is important to look at what lead you to this point of you thinking of getting separated. Most of the time people end a relationship and move on to another relationship only to find the same problems in the next relationship. In this case, divorce will not solve your concerns. It is essential to ask yourself if the issue in your marriage is what you have been struggling with in the past. If this is the pattern that you recognize then it is important to address it through individual or couple therapy.
· Is there a way you can avoid it?
If you have some problems in your marriage filling a divorce may not be the perfect solution to your problem. Before making this important decision it is important to evaluate whether you have exhausted all the available options. Before ending the marriage it is important to ask yourself if you are 100% certain about the decision.
· Are our issues more about growth I need?
If you and your partner are having problems it could be that both of you need to spend time on personal growth. Take a break and ask yourself if taking a break will actually help you address those conflicts.
· Why are we having problems?
It is easy for your partner to point out all the issues that you are having in your marriage. However, the question that is not obvious is, why are we having problems? When we ask ourselves this question we go deeper and realize the real reason why we are suffering. Pointing out what is causing your fights can give you a starting point to address your problems in marriage.
· Would I stay if my partner changed?
Look at all the issues that are in the relationship. How many of them are within your control to change? If all this issue relies solely on your partner then you do not have control over them. It is important to ask yourself what needs to change for me to stay in this relationship. If the issue can be solved, then work through it together. If you woke up tomorrow and your partner was magically different, would you still be with him or her? If the answer is yes then this means that you have a fighting chance. If the answer is no then you are no longer in the place where you can cherish your partner.
Conclusion
Are you having trouble figuring out whether you and your partner need a divorce? You can benefit by talking to a marriage or family therapist. He or she can help you to work through any issues and you can decide from there.
Depression is not good and it is not to be glorified
neither is it beautiful. The feeling of depression makes you long for an
ordinary day where task like preparing morning coffee was not extraordinary to
you. When you find yourself longing for ordinary days then this means that
something is off balance in your life. Depression is classified as a mood
disorder. It can be described as the feeling of anger, sadness and loss. It may
be more crushing to realize that your partner is suffering from depression. Here
are 5 signs that your partner is going through depression.
Altered
sleeping partner
Your partner may move from sleeping too much to hardly
sleeping. He or she might have a lot going on in his or her mind. Your partner
may also lose concentration very fast. Your partner is likely to suffer from insomnia.
And anxiety may keep them awake at night. When sleeping you will notice that
your partner tosses and turns a lot in bed. If this is the case, then take this
opportunity to ask your partner what is going on and how may you be of help to
them. Another way of assisting your partner is listening to them. Ensure that
you are available for them. Do not be too quick to judge your partner and allow
him or her to open up.
Loss
of Interest
The early signs of depression are loss of interest. The
activities that your partner saw fun and enjoyable are no longer fun. For
example, if he was a fun of watching football and then all of a sudden he becomes
non interested. It can also be an event that your partner was looking forward
to go for months. The longer this goes on the harder it is for your partner to
start caring again. During this period, it is important for you to encourage
your partner to join low-stake activities.
Loss
of sexual desires
Depression causes chemical imbalances in our body. The
chemical that is responsible for the desire for sex may be thrown off. Your
partner is likely to experience a shift in sex drive. Research shows that 45%
of individuals with untreated depression experience sexual dysfunctional while
63% of people who are depressed but are on medication suffer from it too. The
best way of dealing with depression is seeking professional help and listening
to your partner.
Conclusion
Depression is described as a mood disorder. In order
to help your partner deal with depression it is important to listen to them
without judging them. Be available for your partner this will help them open
up. Use the conversation to judge if the symptoms are improving or decreasing.
Hey i am supper grateful for 24 followers you guys are amazing. I hope everyone is doing great and living his or her best life. I also hope that you are winning those 2019 goals that you set late or early last year.
Today i wanted to share things that i struggle and most probably you can relate to some of them.
High expectation
I am a very ambitious person and i tend to set my bars so high. I plan in advance and when things do not work out my way i get so discouraged. Expecting a lot can make you frustrated. I have learnt to take one step at a time and prepare for the worst. Just like everyone else people that i expected so much from have disappointed me at some point.
2. i am impatient
Patients for me is something that i really struggle with. I want this to move too fast. I get so frustrated and to cope with this i tend to worry less.
3. letting go of things.
This is quite different for me. When i am angry at someone, i tend to be so quite. I can go silent on someone for a very long time maybe for years. I find it so hard to let go off. Recently i have learnt the importance of forgiving others and it is in forgiving others that you find peace.
4. I care so much about what people say.
Sometimes i let what people say become a part of me. I care too much about what people say and i sometimes put other peoples happiness before mine. Opinions can be from friends or family and they sometimes have a positive and negative impact. I have learnt that you cannot control peoples opinion on you but you have the ability to control what it makes you become. I will not let people’s opinion define me.
We are all human and we all struggle with one thing or another. You are not alone. Stop letting peoples opinions define you, forgive more, be happy with your mess and above all BE YOU.
Has someone ever told you you are not good enough? Well i have been a victim too. I have given my best in a lot of things only for the person to tell me i was not good enough. Let me share my story and my journey to overcoming this. I finished my degree last year (2018) and just like everyone else does i looked for an internship.
I dedicated my whole day looking for an internship i used to walk everyday dropping my CV to every company i came across. Job hunting personally is a night mare. Sometimes i could go to a company and beg to see the human resource but all i was told is that i needed an appointment. Times were tough. I did this for two weeks then finally i got my first internship.
I was super excited. I went for the interview and i was to start working the next Monday. Like any other jobs their are advantages and disadvantages. Let me say that the advantage of being an intern in this job was that i was able to gain skills and friends too. The disadvantage is that i was to cater for my fare and lunch. An opportunity came in the department i was working and the manager told me that i was not good enough for that job. This made me cry so much i could not understand why this happened to me.
For some time i hated formal employment and I decided to try out something new and i ventured in to freelancing i look back and that was the best decision i have ever made.
When someone is in a relationship the expectations are too high. I listen to my friends expectations and am like really do such men exist. The picture or dreams one has on his or her mind about their future partners can be so funny. Until one is in an actually relationship the expectations verses reality are so different. Its like two different worlds.
Expectation 1
We all think about relationships and one of my expectations is breakfast in bed.
Reality 1
He is probably going to be the last person to wake up. The surprise will be the dirty dishes.
Expectation 2
My bae will cuddle me to sleep . I expect us to stay this way till morning
Reality 2
You will all sleep in different sides of the bed.
Expectation 3
Kissing in the rain .
Reality 3
When it rains couples are always in a hurry we shall kiss inside.
Expectation 4
I am not the jealous and crazy type. I tell myself this every time.
Reality 4
How she reacts when she sees you text another lady.
Today am going to be doing something different. Its story time. If you have not followed my blog please do so. If you like this blog comment down below and i might consider weekly story times.
When i was in high school we used to wake up so early. By 3:50 am i was always up and by 4: 20 we were actually in class. Morning preps took around 1 hr 30 minutes. The day would end at 10 pm. YOH! Life was hard i was in a boarding school. Whether it was a 10 minutes break i would always sleeping and, during lunch time i was always sleeping. I was sleeping even when the teacher was busy teaching. I wasn’t the kind of student to try not to sleep or rather to hold it in. When i was sleepy i would literally dose-off on the desk.
I used to dose in dorm and when the teacher came i would jump out of the door near the nearest window or run to the toilet.
So on this particular day i overslept. THE DEVIL IS A LIAR. It was actually on a Monday. The dorms were not locked . The teacher came in checking if their were students that were sleeping and my bed was opposite the door. I open my eyes and the first thing i see is the teachers face. She told me to give her my name and my parents name and where they work then go to class.
After morning preps we had breakfast then assembly. During the announcement part the teacher on duty said called my name like this” Tan the daughter of Tim working in ABC company was caught sleeping in the dorm during morning preps” I was so embarrassed and luckily the head master was not in on that day. Who know what would have happened to me.
Above twenty life 