Design a site like this with
Get started

Is flirting cheating?

Hey, I hope you are doing great and working hard on those 2019 goals. Today i am going to be talking about flirting when in a committed relationship. I will be answering questions like What is flirting? Is flirting cheating? Is flirting OK? . I will also talk about my experience.


Let me start by explaining what flirting is when someone behaves like they are physically attracted to you. This can be by the way they laugh, the way they look at you and compliments. Cheating can be done online when you slide into the DM of someone you are personally attracted too, at the work place, with your ex or in the club. I personally believe that if you are dating or in a relationship and you delete a message from someone you are attracted to thats already cheating

My experience.

During my dating years i meet this dude that i loved too much. He was flirting online at first this was not an issue because we had not started dating. I never even talked about it during out friendship period. We decided to date and i could see him flirting with ladies online

I was not comfortable with that behavior at all. I would go through his phone and find really disturbing messages. Love can really make us do stupid things. I decided let me just talk to him. He can change. (lol). After he found out i knew he was flirting he changed his password.

This is the time when i decided to leave because he was never going to change and i am never going to with stand this character. Emotional cheating hurts so much because this person is sharing his/her heart with somebody else. This is the time i knew you can not serve someone loyalty and all they can offer is flirting. I knew i had to love myself more.


Their is a saying that says do to others what you would like them to do for you. This applies in relationships and friendships too. If you can not be comfortable when your partner flirts, then do not do it


Am i depressed?

Life can be hectic at time. Some times life expectations cannot rhyme with the reality of life this may leave you sad and depressed. I believe in your 20’s, their is so much expected from you by the society and the pressure may at time get to you. Pressure can be about being financially stable, getting married before 27 years and even having kids before 30.

This means that you should look for a job and have a family. I personally believe that most of the people get depressed at the age of 20’s. Picture yourself in a relationship for that you have invested everything. You believe this partner is really meant for you. Four years down the line you break up. Because of the expectations you had from this relationship you may end up DEPRESSED.

At the age of 20 you decide to take a course lets say Civil Engineering. You go to school for five years. Practice may take around three year and then here you are full of ambitions and dream. You apply for a job and get turned down. You decide not to give up time flies and three years down the line here you are living in your parents house with no job. You become DISAPPOINTED and DEPRESSED.

Having inner critic may be the reason why am DEPRESSED. When you constantly keep telling yourself ” I can’t do this? I don’t deserve this? I am not good enough? ” Negative thoughts can really bring your moods down and make you an unhappy person. You need to be positive about yourself and life in general.

Loneliness can be at time so depressing . Here you are with no friends or maybe a family that is no so supportive. Coming out from an abusive relationship can be so stressful and DEPRESSING.

In conclusion I can advise someone with depression to seek professional help or talk to someone it can be a friend or even a stranger. A problem shared is half solved. Less expectations less disappointments.


A soul mate or a better half is a person who you can easily connect with emotionally and he/she should be your BEST FRIEND. Someone that truly understands you. Accepts your flaws and sees you as a blessing. Your better half should be willing to stay with you through those sad and happy days.

As you prepare to meet your husband or wife you need to learn to love yourself. Love every aspect of yourself if you have certain weaknesses try to work on them. If you can’t love yourself then who will love you? Involve yourself in activities that make you happy it can be dancing, writing etc.

Have self confident make sure you smile more often. This is so important. As you prepare to meet your better half you need to focus on your personal growth. You should also know your priorities in life and the kind of partner you want. Write a list of what qualities you need in a husband or wife from the most important qualities to the list important.

Ensure that you are emotionally stable. This means letting go your past relationships. If you feel maybe your ex did something wrong ,forgive them wholeheartedly. We forgive for the sake of our inner peace and happiness. Let go the negative thoughts and welcome positive vibes in your life.

Know yourself better. Know your strength and weaknesses. Work on your weaknesses. Find your own soul in the process. Get to know yourself more.Taking care of yourself is also very important.


Believe that your better half is out there so be happy always , be good to others, take care of yourself and be confident

Is taking a break in a relationship important?

Growing up my parents were so strict. I really din’t have any serious relationships until after high school. I was 18, men were interested in me and i did not have anyone to talk to or guide me during this stage. I was left all alone to figure out this stage of my life. I clearly remember looking at my self and saying ” YES GIRL YOU ARE NOW OLD ENOUGH TO DATE”.

Looking back i probably think this was the most weird thing i ever told myself( lol) Putting in mind the fact that i was a newbie acting like an expert. I made a lot of mistakes some of which i regret to date. One of the mistakes i made was never taking a break in relationships.

Everyone can grow tired of a relationship to a point where you contemplate on whether to say goodbye or stay for better for worse. I have personally experienced this. At this stage you can try so hard to work things out but it may seem impossible this does not mean you don’t love each other. This only means you are loosing connections with each other.

At this point, both of you need to take a break just to reflect on; why you choose this person? What do you like most about that person? what is making you feel this way? During this period you need to have rules for example do not date someone else we are still in a relationship, we should check on each other at least once in a week and agree to share both the bad and good experience that happen in our life. In short have boundaries during the break period.

In conclusion i would say taking a break is so important relationships can be a little bit hectic at some point. Saying goodbye may not actually be the best option.



Having a successful distance relationship

Hey I hope you are doing great and winning in those 2019 goals. For those who are new here welcome I started this blog to share with the world some of the challenges that a typical 20 year old and above person faces on a daily basis. Today we are going to talk about tips to a successful long distance relationships. You are probably wondering :do long distance relationship work? Do long distance relationship last long? Are long distance relationships really a good idea? Well I am here to answer this questions. Comment down below if in your opinion Long distance relationship works.


Being in a long distance relationship can be tricky at time you may feel lonely at some point. Friends and family may tell you not to take things serious because you may end up heart broken. At this stage the only means of communication can only be through a call it get even more complicated when dealing with time difference.

Long distance relationships are sometimes caused by unavoidable situation. This may include a promotion at work that cause your significant other to relocate and scholarships to study in a different country. Long distance relationships require effort.

Here are the tips to a successful long distance relationship:

1.Have a schedule.

Plan on when you will meet each other. It can be meeting up for a night date. Make sure the other person sticks to the plan. Don’t stay for too long without seeing each other.

2.Set rules

This is as simple as don’t do what you wouldn’t like the other person to do. Be it just flirting with other people. This may put your relationship at risk and may lead to trust issues.

3.Communication is so important.

Make sure you talk to your significant other everyday. Look for a mobile app that best suites both of you. Video call each other from time to time. Let your partner know what you are up to on a daily basis. Be honest and open. Dishonesty may put your relationship at risk.

4. Do fun things together

Fun things may include recommending each other on movies and books to read. You can also decide to skype and watch a movie on Netflix together. This will help you have a topic to discuss on.

5. Send each other gifts

Sending each other gifts may seem so simple but it has a greater impact. It makes one feel love , appreciated, valued and it strengthens the relationship. Gifts may include shoes, a phone etc.


Yes, long distance relationship can work. However, both of you must be committed to making it work. Long distance relationship can work despite of the distance and challenges. Its so important to make future plans on how you are going to live together in future this may involve one of you relocating.

Getting over your Ex

Hey , I hope you are winning in everything be it friendship, work,school, Family, relationships etc. I talked about rebound relationships on my previous post and today we are going to talk about ways to completely get over your ex and move on. People breakup everyday and i thought why not address this issue. Comment down below what your tips are .


Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you block your ex on all the social media platform and blacklist their number? Then you end up missing them and decide to call or leave a message. With time you find yourself back to them again. It becomes a circle and it nearly becomes impossible to move on.

A lot of situations and circumstances may make you go back to your ex. Maybe you are telling yourself ” Let me give him time he will change? He/she will be a better person? I love him/her too much? “. When it comes to change people hardly change. Change is a process and the person must be willing to change. You also have to be patient change doesn’t happen overnight.

I am going to share some of the tips that i have used to get over my ex:

1.Love yourself.

This is so important take yourself out for a date more frequently, buy yourself a dress and buy yourself some flowers. Wake up and dress up do your make up this may seem so simple but it can have a great impact on your mood and attitude through out the day.

2. Focus on your growth

Growth may be spiritually, emotionally or physically. Make sure you are busy doing something it can be a hobbie, Fitness routine, reading the bible, reading a book, learning how to play a piano etc. You can also decide to list the activities you are going to get involved in the whole week.

3. Surround yourself with people that love you.

Break up can be sometimes depressing so make sure you have people that love you around be it family or friends. Surround yourself with people who lift up your spirit and make you laugh. This helps a lot.

4.Think about the things you don’t like about your ex.

Before you decide to get back to your ex the things you think about is what you will miss. What if you just though about what you will not miss or what irritates you when you are with them. This way it will be so hard to think about getting back your ex.


This points have especially helped me a lot and i decided to share them because my blog targets the struggles that a 20 year and above individual faces on a day to day life.

Rebound Relationships

Hey today am going to be talking about rebound relationships someone is probably asking themselves what is a Rebound Relationship? How long do they last on average? Are rebound relationships good ? I am here to talk about this and give my genuine opinion about this topic. Comment down below what you personally think about rebound relationships and whether they are good.


A rebound relationship is whereby you get into a relationship shortly after you break up with your previous partner. Everyone needs some time to be by themselves especially after a break up. After a breakup one is always so stressed up and its very difficult to accept that your ex is gone and that what you shared will just be a memory. People react differently to break ups and pain some people may find themselves in bad company, other drink alcohol , some decide to move on with new partners only a few people with think of taking time to just focus on themselves.

For those who think of moving into another relationship with a completely different person it maybe due to the pain and all they need is someone to hug them and be there for them. However this may trigger some questions are you there to love me ? Are you here to just get over your ex? or Am i just a substitute of what you lost?

Remember at this stage you are moving on but you are not emotionally stable to even love another person wholeheartedly . This is a very tricky stage because at some point you may find yourself back and forth at times you feel you need you ex back and at time you feel content. Comparison may arise between your previous and current partner in terms of characters and personality

Those on rebound relationships may experience shame, anger and bitterness toward their previous partners. Before one can decide to fully move to another relationship its so important to take a break. Look for other things to focus on it might be your career or look for a hobby. Letting go may take some time but trust the process.


In my opinion most of the rebound relationships do not last long. During that moment of letting go, be good to yourself love yourself more( take yourself out buy yourself some coffee , buy a dress, wake up dress like a queen) .Make sure you are growing spiritually and emotionally.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

I hope you are doing great and prospering in every aspect in life. First things first you are probably wondering why did you start this blog? Why did you name it above twenty life ? What are going to be posting ? I am here to answer all this questions.

I believe at age 20 is where you are trying to figure out what is best for you maybe career wise, relationship  wise and i am here to hold your hand . I have been through a lot in the past. I want to share it and maybe encourage someone am going to be so open with you guys.

Just know you are not alone. I will be posting everyday.  Comment down below what you want me to talk about.


%d bloggers like this: