The decision to end marriage is not one that people take lightly. Most of the time filling a divorce come after months of trying to make things work. It can be difficult to know whether you are making the right decision. Therefore, it is important to ask yourself some questions before getting a divorce.
First of all, it is important to look at what lead you to this point of you thinking of getting separated. Most of the time people end a relationship and move on to another relationship only to find the same problems in the next relationship. In this case, divorce will not solve your concerns. It is essential to ask yourself if the issue in your marriage is what you have been struggling with in the past. If this is the pattern that you recognize then it is important to address it through individual or couple therapy.
· Is there a way you can avoid it?
If you have some problems in your marriage filling a divorce may not be the perfect solution to your problem. Before making this important decision it is important to evaluate whether you have exhausted all the available options. Before ending the marriage it is important to ask yourself if you are 100% certain about the decision.
· Are our issues more about growth I need?
If you and your partner are having problems it could be that both of you need to spend time on personal growth. Take a break and ask yourself if taking a break will actually help you address those conflicts.
· Why are we having problems?
It is easy for your partner to point out all the issues that you are having in your marriage. However, the question that is not obvious is, why are we having problems? When we ask ourselves this question we go deeper and realize the real reason why we are suffering. Pointing out what is causing your fights can give you a starting point to address your problems in marriage.
· Would I stay if my partner changed?
Look at all the issues that are in the relationship. How many of them are within your control to change? If all this issue relies solely on your partner then you do not have control over them. It is important to ask yourself what needs to change for me to stay in this relationship. If the issue can be solved, then work through it together. If you woke up tomorrow and your partner was magically different, would you still be with him or her? If the answer is yes then this means that you have a fighting chance. If the answer is no then you are no longer in the place where you can cherish your partner.
Are you having trouble figuring out whether you and your partner need a divorce? You can benefit by talking to a marriage or family therapist. He or she can help you to work through any issues and you can decide from there.