Toxic relationship habits that people think are normal

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A toxic relationship is any relationship between two people who do not support each other, and when there is a conflict one person seems to undermine the other. Well, every relationship has its ups and downs. Toxic relationships are draining and unpleasant to a point that the negative moments outweigh the positive moments. The relationship can be mental, emotional and physically draining to the partners. 

People who harm or undermine their spouse whether intentionally or not often have a reason for their behaviour. Some of the reasons include unloving upbringing, unsupportive upbringing or they were involved in a toxic relationship when they were children or romantically. They could have also been bullied in school. They may also be suffering from a mental disorder such as anxiety and depression. 

Here are some of the habits in a relationship that couples think are healthy and normal but they are toxic and harmful: 

1. When someone that you are dating keeps blaming you for your past mistakes. To the extent where the relationship devolves into a battle to see who screwed up the most in the past months or years. Therefore, who is most indebted to the other. 

Why is it toxic?

This habit is toxic since you are deflecting from the current issue by focusing on past mistakes. Your partner may also tend to use your previous wrongs to manipulate you into feeling bad in the present. If this habit goes on for a very long time, more energy will be spent on that you are less capable than the other rather than solving the current problem. 

2. Instead of saying what is pissing you off, you look for small and petty ways to piss your spouse off. So you will then feel justified in complaining to them. They become passively aggressive. 

Why is it toxic? 

It shows that you two are not comfortable communicating with each other openly. An individual should not be passive-aggressive if they feel safe to express their anger, fears and insecurity in the relationship. 

3. When an individual has a complaint and blackmails the other person by threatening the commitment of the relationship as a whole. 

Why is it toxic?

Threatening and blackmailing your partner can result in a ton of unnecessary drama. Both people need to know that negative thoughts and feeling can be communicated safely without threatening the future of the entire relationship. 

Ending a relationship especially the one that you love being in is not easy. However, it is important to know the difference between a toxic relationship and a relationship that needs a little bit of work.